I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
