So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
