Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
