Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Randomize
