hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
