Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
