to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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