how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
