I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize