just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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