just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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