I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
