Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
