roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
