a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
