i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
