Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Boobs speak an international language.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
