I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
Randomize