so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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