He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
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