i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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