ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
