Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
Randomize