my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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