Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
