How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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