Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
