No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I JUST WATCHED PAULA DEEN PUT BUTTER IN HER BLOODY MARY. This is not a drill. Real life.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
