Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
try to milk me bitch
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