lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
