so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
