What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
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