the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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