your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Randomize
