dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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