my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Randomize
