hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
i just had sex bonerless
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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