You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
should my penis look like a turkey
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
