Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
Randomize
