he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Randomize
