We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
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