put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
In America we eat man semen.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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