dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize
