the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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