We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
