Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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