Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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