omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
My legs feel like baby dolphins
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
