Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
Randomize
