My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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