hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
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Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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