He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
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