just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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