i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
