That's intense
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
