but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
I have aggressive nipples.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
