There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
