Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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