I want to have your abortion
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
