yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Let's get the cat blown out
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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