i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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