A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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