Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
