Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Trying to take a shit right now to the beat of the fuckin drumcircle outside... It's not goin well
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
Randomize
