I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Threesome in a minivan. New low
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
