Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
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